A Bitter Substitution

Just before Christmas, the unthinkable happened. I made a pot of coffee that tasted like crap. It tasted weak, and it did not provide the normal morning satisfaction Sue and I have come to expect from this arousing elixir, this gift of God.

So the next morning, I tried again. I purposefully added more coffee grounds into the coffee maker, hoping that perhaps I had just lost count the morning before. It was stronger..., but not any better. Our coffee tasted less bold, or rather lacked taste altogether.

I tried again a third morning. Same result.

This was unacceptable, and my good name and my manhood were being questioned with these repeated "wimpy" coffee brews.

This was a problem.

A major problem.

A problem that required science.

So, one groggy morning (I think it was the weekend before Christmas, but I can't really remember because I've not been fully awake since the coffee issue emerged), I created an experiment to help identify the problem. My goal was to isolate the source of the problem, so I standardized coffee production.

Same filter, same coffee maker, same amount of water, same water source, same brand of coffee grounds, same time of day, and even the same coffee cups washed the night before with the same soap in the same manner. All these factors are essentially the same ones used prior to this coffee affliction entered our home.  Since I drink my coffee black, I did not have to be concerned with potential adulterating factors like creamer or sugar.

After going through these machinations since Christmas Day, I can now positively assert that the issue is not my coffee making abilities, it is the coffee.

Not only did my experimentation convince me it was the coffee, but I now have corroborating evidence that the coffee is the thing that changed.

Reuters is reporting that many of America's major brands have been quietly tweaking their coffee blends. While most coffee companies consider their blends trade secrets, and are loath to disclose exactly what goes into them, both circumstantial and direct evidence suggests they're now substituting lower-grade Robusta beans for some of their pricier Arabica, and degrading the quality of our coffee. - Yahoo! Daily Finance

In economics lingo, this is known as "substitution." Substitution is where one thing can be substituted for another and the relationship between price and demand does not. In other words, the coffee companies thought they could substitute Robusta beans for Arabica beans to reduce their costs all while maintaining their price point.

First the Feds want to trick us into believing that inflation is not so bad, now coffee companies are trying to pull the same crap.

I'll be the first to acknowledge that it is possible I am off my rocker, but Community Coffee, and Matt Saurage, if I find out you have altered a "Louisiana Tradition"... THIS IS NOT COOL, man!